The week after I painted portraits of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, I painted the portrait of Ahmaud Arbery. I have struggled to explain what it felt like to paint these portraits, and now I wonder if that is even pertinent. My hope is that what I say is not offensive to members of the Black community.
These paintings took me to an almost dream-like state. I had to push aside my anger regarding the three murderers who chased this young man down as he was jogging through the neighborhood. It was impossible for me to look at the images online and not feel rage and despair.
I thought about the legacy of Black people in the US, and how this is probably their every day range of emotions they have dealt with for hundreds of years. Now there is information available that indicates that violence is carried in the DNA for generations. We have much reparation to do.
But I wanted to focus on something different while I painted. I read Mr. Arbery’s obituary and thought about his mother whom he lived with, and all the loved ones left behind. The process of being in a dream-like painting space opened my heart into a receiving. It’s like I could feel the beautiful spirit of these young people and those they had left behind. I wanted to honor them and do what I could to provide a tribute to their lives.
One of the things I’ve shared with friends is that I felt like anyone who took the time to look, really look, and paint portraits of these dear departed ones would be changed … even the murderers. Connecting on such deep levels expands ones awareness of the humanity in all of us; we truly are all one. That is not to undermine the fact that historically we have not been treated as equals; far from it, sadly. As the Dalai Lama says, my religion is kindness. We have much to learn, and cultivating the mind and heart for kindness and compassion is a good step forward.
For those who are interested in expanding their awareness of Black culture and history, here is a helpful link.
Anti-racism resources of organizations, films, books, podcasts, social media, etc
Join the global movement and contribute: BlackLivesMatter.com ACLU.org
(For those who have asked, all three paintings are oil on cradled birch panel, 24” x 24”, and I don’t know yet what I will do with them. I don’t intend to sell them. Perhaps they will be given to the victims’ families, if they are interested. Or perhaps used to raise funds for a worthy BLM cause. Hopefully, they will be of help somehow. They have already felt like a blessing for me while painting them.)